


Dwarfling Hobbits

by RomanceSucker42



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bilbo is younger than he said, Dwarf Bilbo Baggins, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Dwarven Ones | Soulmates, Hobbit Culture & Customs, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Overprotective Dwarves, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Post Mpreg, Rejection, Worried Dwarves, Young Bilbo Baggins, child endangerment, dwarflings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29361585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanceSucker42/pseuds/RomanceSucker42
Summary: Bilbo is actually the dwarfling Frerin. His parents are Nori and Thorin. No one knows this until they are at Beorn's place where he is finally forced to reveal himself.
Relationships: Bofur/Fíli (Tolkien), Dwalin/Ori (Tolkien), Nori/Thorin Oakenshield
Comments: 2
Kudos: 69





	Dwarfling Hobbits

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything Hobbit anything. I’m twisting lore so Thorin is 189. Please read the Tags. I hope you like it!

Bilbo thought he was going to be sick, he was so scared. Scratch that, he was terrified. Gandalf had convinced him to come on this Valor forsaken quest, but ultimately he was the one to agree to go. Which was a terrible, awful, brash thing for him to do. And the reason for his terror was because his parents were in the company.

You see, Bilbo wasn’t a hobbit, he was actually a dwarf. In Dwarven society, children can be beggoton no matter the paring as long as the pair were Ones. This meant that men with male partners and women with female partners could become pregnant with their partner’s child. Ones are the completion of a person’s soul as each person has only half a soul when they are born thus making this possible. It is a type of magic that Mahal had gifted his children so they could be happy no matter who their Ones were. 

Bilbo was a product of two male Ones. He knew this, had always known it all his life. He was raised by Bungo and Belladonna Baggins and was given a name like he was their son, but they had always wanted to be honest with their son. So when he noticed that he grew differently from the other children and looked differently too, they told him the truth. Bungo and Belladonna had found his Amad beaten and bloody on the road between Hobbiton and Bree. Though they were still frightened of the dwarf, they took the dwarf and his tiny baby back to their camp and nursed him back to health. The dwarf had been out of options, though, as he was in quite some trouble and feared for his child. He asked the couple if they would take him in, raise him as their own son as he couldn’t care for the child and the child’s father didn’t know about him. 

Even though they didn’t know this dwarf, they could tell that he deeply loved his child and truly thought this was the best course of action. They agreed on the stipulation that they be allowed to give him a hobbit name, as a dwarven one would stick out too much in the Shire. The dwarf was so relieved that his son would be safe that he agreed to their wishes. Before he left, Bungo and Belladonna asked for the lad’s parents’ names so the lad could know should he ask when he was older. Reluctantly, the dwarf told him.

His mother, the dwarf that was about to depart from them, was Nori, son of Kori.

His father was Thorin Oakensheild.

They were sworn to secrecy that they never tell anyone these names, not even the child, until he was of age. They agreed as a precaution for the boy’s safety.

They were not able to keep those promises as they both died before Bilbo was of age. So Bilbo found out this secret on their deathbeds. Which had sadly been only a few months prior to Gandalf showing up talking about adventures. 

Bilbo had been against the whole idea because Bilbo wasn’t a small dwarf.

He was a dwarfling.

Not only was he not of age in Dwarven society, he wasn’t of age in Hobbit society either. 

Bilbo had just passed 30 when Bungo and Belladonna passed. 

Gandalf knew all of this, of course, as he figured out what Bilbo wasn’t a hobbit the first time he saw him. But he encouraged the frightened dwarfling to go on the adventure so he could learn more about dwarven culture as he could only learn so much in a book. And now that his hobbit parents had passed, there really wasn’t anything holding the dwarling to the Shire anymore. Gandalf reasoned that if he went with them, he would have the favor of several dwarves that could look after him at least until he was able to locate his birth parents, wherever they may be. 

Bilbo is almost 100% sure Gandalf didn’t mean for his parents to be in the Company as well.

Knowing more about dwarven society had been very enticing, but having the opportunity to get to know his parents, cousins, and uncles was something he had always wanted, so he agreed to go. 

He’s actually a little shocked no one found out sooner. 

He’s very much his parent’s son. Bilbo had always had a knack for stealing, though he tried to hide this about himself. He was very happy to know that was a trait he got from his Amad as well as his reddish, brownish, curly hair. He definitely got his pigheaded stubbornness from his Adad along with his blue eyes. He actually wasn’t bad with a sword like his Adad, though he liked daggers just as much as his Amad. He learned that his unusual strength came from his Amad’s side, though he was always careful to hide that fact. As was he careful to hide the same eye twitch his Adad did when he was about to lose his patience. 

He was saddened to find out that his parents didn’t seem to have a relationship at all. They barely seemed to notice each other’s existence. If they had one at all at any point, they hid it very well. He was actually almost convinced that his Amad had lied about who his Adad was, but that idea was crushed after the Troll incident. Thorin had searched out Nori before he had checked on his nephews. Nori didn’t seem to react, but Bilbo noticed that he followed Thorin in the shadows for weeks afterwards and walked closer to Thorin on the road for some time as well. Thorin’s bellowing, defining yell of no on the mountain when he thought half his Company, which included Fili and Nori, were crushed to death had Bilbo satisfied that they were Ones. Bilbo was 80% sure it was so loud because of Nori. If that didn’t clue him in on that fact, then the way Nori is giving Thorin a very cold shoulder after the disastrous stunt he pulled with Azog on the cliff and the way Thorin could barely keep his eyes off the thief for fear he was going to actually be dead definitely confirmed it.

They had been traveling for months now and Bilbo actually thought he just might be able to get through this entire quest without revealing the fact that he was now a 31 year old dwarfling if it wasn’t for one, disastrous fact.

Bilbo was still growing.

He’s not sure why he hadn’t thought of this sooner. Thinking on it, though, he’s pretty sure he was a little distracted with trying to make his parents proud even when they didn’t know he was their son. He had disguised himself as a hobbit fairly well, he thought, and had been perfecting the persona of a grown hobbit for several years before this quest as he would be expected to act like one in a few short years anyway. He knew he had the traits of a dwarf and knew that he had gotten several looks in the last few months because of them. 

He had taken to sword fighting and knife throwing like ducks to water. He picked up on Khuzdul, though only used a few words to himself that he knew for sure what the meanings were through the context they were used in. He was brash and hot headed and definitely stubborn enough to fit right in with the dwarves. 

So because of all of this, it really had slipped his mind that he was going to outgrow his clothes soon, as he was due for another growth spurt. And grow he did. With all of the exercise he had been doing as well as the training, Bilbo didn’t just grow upwards. His shoulders had broadened and muscle had started to form on his arms, legs, and chest. His pants had slowly gotten shorter as he grew taller over the last few months, but no one had really noticed and it wasn’t that big a deal to him. But now his clothes were noticeably no longer fitting. 

The most frustrating part of all of this was that it seemed to happen over night. Part of him had known this was happening, that his body was growing weeks ago, and had taken to wearing his cloak a lot these past weeks. But as the Company had been traveling through the mountain, no one had questioned it. Now that they were at Beorn’s, it was simply too warm to wear the cloak now. He had noticed his clothes were a little on the tight side on the first night they stayed at Beorn’s, but now it was the third day and Bilbo could barely move in his clothes. He knew the second someone saw him, they would know they didn’t fit which would lead to questions, especially as he seemed to suddenly become as tall as Kili overnight. His hair had grown as well, though it usually has so many knots in it that he didn’t at first notice it had grown past his shoulders. He looked every bit like a dwarf he actually was. So, in a fit of dwarfling panic, he did the first thing that came to mind.

He climbed on top of the roof and stayed there for the whole day curled up into a ball.

He knew they were looking for him. He always showed up for meals because he was still a growing child with a healthy appetite, but not today. His lack of appearance seems to actually really disturb them, though he was just too scared to ease their worry. The Company had finally accepted him. His father had finally accepted him and seems to actually respect him. His mother had long accepted him if the way he always made sure he was fed now was anything to go by, but he wanted to earn his mother’s respect as well and figured his chance would be with the dragon as the trolls didn’t work out very well. All of his hard work to be accepted would be gone when they saw him and no amount of hiding in his hobbit persona was going to change that. 

And it really was a persona. He was naturally very quiet, though also very curious, and very expressive with his eyes which both of his parents seemed to be as well. He had learned at an early age that hobbits were suspicious of people who were different, so a quiet child was something that they just couldn’t handle. So Bilbo learned how to be loud and fussy like other hobbits to make them feel comfortable around him. He learned there was a difference in who he actually was versus the persona he put on and was encouraged to only be who he was by his hobbit parents. He had just gotten to the point in his life where he accepted that the Shire wasn’t going to accept him no matter how much he tried to fit in when his hobbit parents died and Gandalf showed up. It actually took him a while to remember how to act hobbity as he had completely dropped the persona a year prior to those events, though he quickly fell into it again. It was quite exhausting to keep it up all the time and there were more than one instance he slipped up on the journey so far. Possibly the only upside to this growth spurt was not having to pretend anymore.

Bilbo agonized over his predicament for the whole day, missing the Company becoming more frantic in their searches as the day went on. He wondered if his mother would recognise him now, with his persona dropped and his hair grown. He wondered if he could be called his dwarven name as he learned that he was named after his deceased uncle and rather liked the name more than his hobbit one. He thought it fit him fairly well, though, if the stories were true, he was nothing like his uncle. He tried not to think about the fact his father was a king, though he worried about how his cousins would react to the news of his existence. He wondered if his parents would accept him, would take him in. He fretted on what that would be like, how that would work because, though they were Ones, they clearly weren't in a relationship. 

All the wondering and what ifs kept his mind busy all day and he started to notice how hungry he was when night had fallen. What really drew his attention out of his head was the raised voices that were outside and only a short distance away from the front door of the house- barn. Sighing, Bilbo realised this couldn’t continue and he was going to have to show up at some point, so he quietly climbed down the side of the house which he had climbed up on. He peaked around the corner of the house, making sure to stay in the shadows, and finally listened to their conversation. As he suspected, they were arguing about his whereabouts and how they were going to find him. 

So with a deep breath to calm his nerves, he called out “I’m right here.” to them. The arguing stopped and they all turned to look at the shadows he was hidden in.

“Bilbo?” Bofer called tentatively, trying to go easy so as to bring him out. He was so terrified, his hands were shaking, but he forced himself to take five steps out of the shadows so they could see him clearly. He had fisted his shaking hands by his sides and clenched his jaw while glaring at the ground. He knew he had never looked so much like his parents as he did just then. 

He stood perfectly still as he heard the gasps from everyone. The silence unnerved him, but he didn’t look up until he heard a very wet and ragged “Frarin?” His head shot up at his dwarven name and looked to see his Amad openly crying. His hands unclenched and his body jerked forward, wanting to comfort him but wasn’t sure if he was allowed to. When Nori fell to his knees crying, though, Bilbo didn’t care if he was allowed to or not. He ran to his Amad and dropped to his knees in front of him frantically trying to calm him down.

“No, please don’t cry, Amad. It’s ok, everything is alright. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. Please don’t cry. I was never very good with crying. I’m sorry I lied. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please don’t cry, I’m sorry, Amad.” Bilbo told him frantically. His mantra seemed to make Nori cry harder and started to make Bilbo tear up at how broken his Amad seemed. The crying didn’t stop Nori from taking one of his own visibly shaking hands and cupping Bilbo’s cheek with it. Bilbo instantly nuzzled it, still looking at Nori.

“It really is you.” Nori whispered. “I thought I was seeing things, but it’s really you.” He pulled Bilbo into a crushing hug then that Bilbo returned with fervor. “I thought I would never see you again.” Nori told him, though the sound was muffled by Bilbo’s hair as Nori’s face was buried in it. But then he was sharply pulled away and put at arms length by Nori who now had a stern face on despite the tear tracks. “What in Manos’s halls were you thinking coming on this quest!” Bilbo got to his feet and backed away a little while Nori got to his feet as well.

“Amad-”

“Don’t you dare ‘Amad’ me Frarin, Son of Nori, Son of Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror! You are a 31 year old dwarfling! You have absolutely no business nor permission to be on this quest! You could be killed! You almost have gotten yourself killed!” Nori stopped shouting and rapidly pailed. “Stars, what you did on the cliff.”

“Adad would have died! I had to do something!” Bilbo said defensively. 

“You don’t even know how to fight!”

“I’ve been learning!”

“Oh Mahal.” Nori said, rushing to so bushes and heaving up whatever was in his stomach. Bilbo wanted to go check on him, but stayed put when Ori and Dori appeared next to him. When he straightened up and looked back at Bilbo, Bilbo decided that he needed to say his piece now or he never will.

“Look, Amad. Whether you like it or not, I am on this quest. You can’t send me anywhere, there is no where to send me. Even with escorts, the closest Dwarven settlement is the Iron Hills and Erebor is closer than that still. We can’t go back to Rivendell, or the Shire, or the Blue Mountains because that is in the direction of right into the teeth of Azog and his army of orcs that are bent on destroying the line of Durin, the same blood that runs through my veins. 

I am so sorry I lied to you, to all of you. But if you had suspected, even for a moment, that I was a dwarf, you would have realised I wasn’t even Battle Ready I was so young and you would have sent me back. But there is nothing for me to go back to. My hobbit parents died some months before you all showed up. I was a 30 year old dwarfling living alone in a society that didn’t welcome strangers or anyone odd. I barely knew anything about my dwarven heritage and going with you was my chance to learn about it. And yeah, alright, I admit the reason that I completely disregarded the fact of the Dragon was because both of my parents were going on the quest and if facing a dragon was what it took to get to know them then that was what I am determined to do.” Bilbo- Frarin told them determinedly. 

They all stared at him in shocked silence before Dori sighed. “Did you have to go with the most stubborn Durin there is?” He asked Nori exasperatedly.

“Shut up, Dori.” Nori said sharply. 

“Well, I guess now we know why you jumped into battle like that.” Dwalin commented.

“Dwalin, so help me, do not finish that thought.” Thorin said sharply as well, speaking for the first time since Bilbo came out of the shadows. “Fili, Kili, please go find him some clothes and make sure he eats something.” Thorin steps a little closer to Bilbo, touching his shoulder. “This can be discussed in the morning.” He said then gently pushed Bilbo towards his cousins.

Bilbo went without protest. He saw the out for what it was. He wasn’t off the hook, but they all needed to cool off and process before they could talk about anything. If his cousins tried to talk to him, he didn’t notice. He ate his food quickly and efficiently, but didn’t really taste it and he got dressed in whatever they handed him. He was distracted with how his parents were taking everything and what was going to become of him come the morrow. He climbed into bed on his own volition, not needing any prompting as he was tired from his turmoil filled day and promptly dropped into a fitful sleep.

_Thorin POV_

With Frarin inside now, Thorin stared at Nori. He didn’t know what to do or say and the worst part about all of this was he wasn’t sure he had a right to say anything. He and Nori had a complicated relationship. They instantly knew they were Ones the second they laid eyes on each other. But Nori’s life and lifestyle consisted of constantly being in the shadows but Thorin’s life meant he was constantly in the spotlight. They had courted for several years in secret, but when Throin asked Nori to marry him, Nori said no. He tried to be patient, but all of his attempts to persuade Nori into bringing their relationship to light led to an argument between them so disastrous they broke off their courting. Barely a month later, there was an assesination attempt on his life which Nori had thwarted himself. The assassin had made it all the way into Throin’s rooms when Nori slipped into the room and caught the assassin by surprise. Thorin had awoken by the sound of thumping and was able to help Nori in finishing him off. The look of sheer panic in Nori’s eyes haunted him for years and gnawing worry for the thief clung to him when Nori took off after that. 

His relief of seeing Nori again almost ten years later died when he saw the look in Nori’s eyes. Something had happened, something terrible and it had changed him more than Thorin would ever know. Remembering the haunting grief in his eyes the first time he saw him again told Thorin that he couldn’t be angry at Nori for keeping his child away from him. He is not that kind of dwarf, something must have driven him to hide the child for everyone’s sake. The grief that still clung to Nori even today told Thorin that Nori hated, despised his decision, but since he never changed it, he knew the dwarf stood by it even though he had suffered greatly for it in turn.

No, he wasn’t angry at Nori, but he was deeply hurt that his One didn’t think he could be trusted with this knowledge.

“I know you are still angry at me.” Thorin started, stepping a little closer so they were only a few feet away from each other. “But can I ask why?” Nori scoffed.

“Why? Why what Thorin? Why am I still angry at you? Why did I keep our child away from you? Why did I give him to a hobbit couple of all people?”

“Why didn’t you trust me with what was going on?” Thorin interrupted, his voice raw with how hurt he really was by this. Nori swallowed thickly.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you. That night, with the assassin? He was in your room, Thorin, he was about to kill you! I was pregnant, I was already scared out of my mind, then to see you almost killed in your sleep! We had too many enemies, Thorin! We could never keep him safe, not when he was the son of a thief and a king. So I ran, and I hid and I never told a soul where I was or who I was for a year and a half. That’s all it took before my past caught up with me. Frarin wasn’t even a year old yet before I had to hide him on the road in the wilds while I was being beaten half to death. I managed to find him again, but I didn’t make it far from where we were and if I’m being honest? If Bungo and Belladonna, a hobbit couple, hadn’t found me and dragged me to their campsite and tended to me and Frarin, I’m not sure either one of us would have survived that night.” Tears spilled from Nori’s eyes, but he angrily swiped them away. “I realised then that I couldn’t hide and take care of him. But I also couldn’t take him to you and expose him to your enemies either. 

So I asked the couple to raise him. No one knew he existed except me, one healer that didn’t know my name, and the hobbit couple. And they agreed as long as they could give him a hobbit name as well. I couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing our son again, so I told the couple our names but they were only ever to tell him when he came of age and to no one else. I had no idea they were dead. They must have told him our names before they passed so he could find us.” Nori got quiet but Thorin knew he had more to say, so he waited him out. 

“I always thought that leaving you would be the hardest thing I would have to do in my life, because what could a king want with a thief? But leaving Frarin, walking away. I didn’t know it was possible to still be alive when your heart is torn out of your body. Mahal, Thorin, he’s almost died so many times.” Nori said trembling and Thorin closed the distance, pulling him into an embrace that Nori clung to him for comfort. 

“I know. Mahal, I know.” Thorin told him, tears starting to well up in his own eyes at what almost happened along the road. “I was so harsh with him. He probably hates me.” Thorin whispered.

“He wouldn’t have spent so much time trying to earn your approval if he hated you.” Nori whispered comfortingly back. Though, it really wasn’t that much of a comfort when they thought of what he did to earn their approval. Nori was suddenly seeing the Trolls incident in a whole new light. He tightened his grip on Thorin. 

They had quite forgotten the world around them or that everyone in the Company was there watching the interaction slack jawed. So they were slightly startled out of their moment when Fili cleared his throat and asked. “Does this mean I am no longer the Crown Prince?” Thorin turned to look at him without letting go of Nori and assessed the question. He sounded hopeful and looked like he was barely restraining himself from jumping up and down. 

“You are still my heir, though if you wish it, perhaps that can be changed.” Thorin said cautiously. 

“Yes!” Fili actually jumped in the air in excitement at that. Then he made a beeline straight for Bofur. 

Bofur looked freaked out.

He took a few stumbling steps away from the approaching Fili with his hands raised in what Thorin thought might have been a placating manor but could have also been a stopping gesture. “Now hang on a second, Lad.” Bofur tries, but Fili interrupts him.

“No, Bofur. I have asked on three separate occasions from Bombur and Bifur their blessing for me to court you and they have given it and I have asked you on four separate occasions for your hand in courtship and you have told me no. You have had an excuse every single time, but there aren’t any more excuses. I’m not even in the direct line for the throne anymore, so that’s not an excuse anymore. So either you don’t want to court me because I am not your soulmate and you find me repulsive-”

“That’s not it at all!” Bofur shouts, wildly waving his hands with eyes the size of saucers. He looked rather shocked that Fili could be saying any of this. 

“Then what is it, Bofur? Why do you keep telling me no.” Fili asked, trying not to be defensive, but Thorin knew him and knew all of this was hurting him. Actually, now that he’s looking closely, this has been hurting Fili for a while. Fili has had a slumped curve to his shoulders for a few years now that seemed to have permanently become part of his pasture. Thorin’s not so sure of that anymore. Bofur opened his mouth to answer, but Fili was quick to clarify. “The truth this time.” Bofur seemed to deflate, like he had lost all of his will to fight. Thorin knew that feeling as he often had that feeling with Nori. He tightened his grip on Nori just a little.

“I’m a simple minor, Fili, a dented, old chunk of quartz with sharp edges and no use to anyone. And you’re still a prince who shines brighter than any polished mithril there is in this world. I will never be good enough for you, can’t you see that?” Fili stared at Bofur before he stepped closer to him, gently cupped his face and forced Bofur to look Fili in the eye.

“You are my soulmate, my other half, my One. You shine brighter to me than any crystal or metal or stone. Kili does half the things he does to keep me out of my own head, to remind me to smile, to laugh. But when I am with you, that is as easy as breathing for me to do. You are my heart, Bofur, and whether you knew it or not, you have had my heart since the day we met. And I never, ever want it back because that would mean you are not in my life and I won’t accept that. I can’t accept that. And you are not old. Bofur.” Fili said the last part almost like a gentle admonishment. Bofur looked quite stunned and had a rather bright blush on his cheeks. He smiled shyly at Fili and Fili’s whole face lit up. Fili took a half step back, dropping his hands and cleared his throat. “Bofur, Son of Bulbur, will you accept my hand in courtship?” Fili asked clearly and formally. 

Shyly, Bofur nodded and said. “Yes.” Fili’s answering smile was blinding.

Thorin was happy for his nephew, though he wished that Fili had felt like he could tell him what was going on. He hadn’t even known that Fili had found his soulmate. He couldn’t help feel melancholy about the entire exchange, though, because Nori is doing the same thing that Bofur was though for a different reason that Thorin unfortunately knew and couldn’t change. Thorin was still a King of dwarves, even if he was a king-in-exile, and Nori was the King of Thieves. Their fundamental lifestyle was something that neither could change and neither could ever ask the other to change it. 

Nori broke away from him.

Thorin could tell that something was wrong, that something was troubling him. “Nori.” He said, trying to reach out, trying to soothe, to help. 

“No, Thorin.” He said, pushing Thorin away and headed into the house. Thorin knew he should have expected it, he’s had years of this happening, but the pain of his rejection still cuts through him sharper than any wound he has ever experienced. That coupled with his still injured ribs made him blinded with pain. He managed to keep himself standing until Nori was out of sight, like he always did, then he stumbled and would have fallen over had Dwalin not caught him. Unfortunately, this was not the first time Dwalin had done this for him. The man gently led Thorin over to the steps of the house and eased him down on them. Oin had also, unfortunately, seen to Thorin after several of these accounts over the years. 

“Uncle?” Kili questions worriedly which catches Fili’s attention instantly. 

“I’m fine.” He assures them and everyone else, though it’s undermined by Oin’s snort. 

“You are far from fine.” Oin told him shortly, quickly mixing ingredients to make the tea that Thorin knew very well at this point. 

“This can’t continue, Laddy.” Balin sighed wearily. He caught on to what was going on by the fifth time Dwalin had to drag him to see Oin. 

“This isn’t his fault.” Thorin said sharply. It was an old argument, one that they have had more than any of them like over the past 40 years. 

“What exactly is going on?” Dori asked, confused by what was happening. Balin was about to answer but cut off when Thorin said an even sharper “Balin.” Sighing, Balin took Dori farther away from the house and in a whispering tone, explained what was going on. Ori, Kili, Fili, and Bofur all followed and listened to the explanation. 

Rejecting your One wasn’t a very common thing and being rejected was physically and emotionally painful. It wasn’t that Ones didn’t fight and disagree, it was that their soul still accepted it’s other half even while they were arguing. Thorin and Nori have never, not ever done anything by half nor have they ever felt wholeheartedly accepted before, so their souls only know how to push others away. Every time Thorin and Nori get into an argument, because their souls are still learning how to stay open to each other, when one of them pushes the other away they are also doing so with their souls. Thorin at least has a bit more understanding of what the acceptance feels like, so he’s conscious of keeping his soul ‘open’ to Nori when they argue or disagree. Nori has never known that feeling and doesn’t realise that he is pushing Thorin away with his soul every time they argue thus rejecting him. 

Thorin has managed to keep this mostly between himself, Dwalin, Balin, and Oin throughout the years. Never once had he ever said anything to Nori and he always made sure that he never found out. He was always careful to keep under wraps how much his health has been affected because of this. 

“Too many more of these and there won’t be anything I can do for you.” Oin told him solemnly, handing over the familiar tea. Thorin just nodded and obediently drank his tea. He was done drinking the tea when Dori marched back over to him with Ori pulling on his sleeve like he was trying to restrain him without actually restraining him. Dori stopped several feet in front of him while giving him a hard look.

“He doesn’t know he is doing this, does he?”

“No.” Thorin’s reply was immediate. “And no one here will tell him either.” He added with a dangerous edge of warning to his tone. 

“Have you ever done this to him?” 

“Once.” Thorin replied solemnly and quietly. “He asked me to run away with him. I told him I could never abandon my people. It was the closest he ever got to asking me to abdicate the throne.” Dori looked at him assessing.

“Did you ever ask him to stop being a thief?”

“I asked him for a public courtship. And asked him to marry me. It was the closest I could ever bring myself to ask him to come out of the shadows. In hindsight, asking him to marry me was a bad idea.” Thorin said sheepishly

“You courted?” Dori asked, surprised.

“For ten years.” Dori and Ori took a sharp breath in at that. “I wanted to ask for your blessing, but Nori caught wind of my plans and gave me a six hour lecture of keeping his family out of his affairs. That is about when I realised that Nori was never going to accept any relationship outside of his shadows.” Thorin explained apologetically to them.

“You never told anyone?” Ori asked, sounding curious and a little sad.

“For my part, no. Balin, Dwalin, and Oin only knew that I had a soulmate that I was in contact with because they were the ones to treat me after a rejection. Dwalin and I didn’t speak to each other for almost two months after I refused to tell him who it was the first time he asked. Dis probably knows I have a soulmate, but that’s more because it is impossible to hide anything from that woman.”

“Why did you stop courting?” Ori asked before Dori could ask anything. 

“He broke off the courtship after I asked him to marry me. He foiled an assassination attempt on me a month later and disappeared for ten years after that. He wouldn’t tell me what happened, but he was different when he got back. Fragile, even. I know now it was because of everything that happened with Frarin, but I didn’t know at the time. I couldn’t bring myself to ask for courtship again. I was fearful that would push him away from me completely. I tried to be there for him as much as he would allow me, but you know how your brother is.”

Everyone looked at him, stunned. 

“Uncle, just how bad has this been affecting your health?” Fili asked quietly after several stunned minutes. Thorin looked down and away. This was a reality that he never wanted anyone to know because the truth was, he was a dead man walking. He finally managed to make himself look at his nephews.

“I’m sorry, boys.” he told them quietly, completely freaking them out instantly. “I probably should have told you this sooner, but I didn’t know how to.” Kili rushes over to him and sits next to him on the steps while Fili kneels on both knees in front of Thorin. Thorin draws Kili into a one armed hug and grasps Fili’s hand that was resting on Thorin’s knees. “I will be lucky if I see my 200th year.” He tells them, grateful that his voice doesn’t crack like he feared it would. The boys take a sharp intake of breath as do several others around them that Thorin ignores. He focusses on his Nephews instead and holds onto them tightly as the news processes for them. 

“But....b-b-b-but…” Kili tried to get out despite how shocked he was. Fili ended up being the one to complete that question.

“That’s only a little more than ten years away.” Fili said, horrified. Thorin didn’t say anything, just held onto them.

“What about Frarin?” Kili asked after several quiet minutes. Tears immediately spring to Thorin’s eyes at the thought of his son. For so many reasons. For one, wholly shit he had a son. For another, he was never going to see his son reach majority. He didn’t get a chance to see his son grow up from infancy and now he won’t have a chance to see him grow into an adult. Part of him was bitter about those facts, but he still doesn’t blame Nori for any of it. He probably would have done the same thing if he was in Nori’s shoes. Thorin had to swallow thickly before he could answer Kili.

“I need you boys’ word that you will look after him and Nori for me when I’m gone. If he is even a little bit like his parents, he is going to need you to look after him and keep him out of trouble.” All three of them chuckle at that. The thought of Fili and Kili being the responsible one was ridiculous and hilarious but Thorin knew they would take this task very seriously. They assured him that they would and Thorin just held onto them just a little tighter after that.

_Nori’s POV_  
Watching how happy Fili was when Bofur finally agreed to marry him hurt a lot more than Nori was willing to actually deal with. It reminded him of all the times that he wanted that with Thorin and how difficult and painful for him it was to say no to Thorin despite how much he really wanted to say yes to him. Remembering when Thorin proposed suddenly reminded Nori of everything that was going on at the time and Nori suddenly really wanted to cry. He needed to leave and he needed to leave now. Not only did he not want to taint the happy atmosphere, he didn’t want Thorin to see him cry over these things as he knew he hurt Thorin over them as well. He actually can’t even imagine how much Thorin must hate him right now. He kept his son away from the man, for Mahal sake. He pulled away from Thorin when he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. 

“No Thorin.” Nori said when he felt Thorin try to keep hold of him. He needed to leave. He managed to keep himself together until he ducked into the house. He managed three steps before he completely broke down. When it felt like he could breathe again, he stood back up and went to check on Frarin. Nori didn’t know how long he stared at his son, but eventually he let him be as well. 

Nori slipped back out of the house just in time to see Thorin on the steps of the house with his nephews standing in front of him. “I’m sorry, boys.” Thorin told them quietly. “I probably should have told you this sooner, but I didn’t know how to.” Kili rushes over to him and sits next to him on the steps while Fili kneels on both knees in front of Thorin. Thorin draws Kili into a one armed hug and grasps Fili’s hand that was resting on Thorin’s knees. “I will be lucky if I see my 200th year.” 

Nori felt like he had been punched in the gut. Thorin was dying? What? When? How? Why? He scanned the area and noticed that while everyone was devastated, no one looked all that surprised by Thorin’s impending death. Including Dori and Ori. Nori really wanted to focus on that, but his mind kept circling around the fact the Thorin was dying. His brain managed to focus in time to catch Kili asking about Frarin.

Nori thought leaving Frarin when he was a baby was painful, this was almost worse. Hearing Thorin making the boys promise to look after Frarin and himself was among the most painful experience that he had ever had to endure. His legs almost gave out on him as he stumbled over to Thorin, almost falling down the stairs in order to come around to face Thorin. Nori had wanted to lower himself to the ground, but instead he fell gracelessly in front of Thoin, barely noticing that Fili was next to him. 

“Nori.” Thorin breathed with a look of horror on his face. Nori only vaguely realised that his emotions were all over his face. He frantically started to flutter his hands on and around Thorin, his breathing erratic in his fear.

“What’s going on? Are you sick? What’s happening? Thorin?” Nori frantically asked, not giving Throin time to answer. Thorin released his nephews and cupped Nori’s face, trying to shush him, but Nori frantically shook his head. “No, you’re not dying.” Nori denied. “You can’t be dying. You have to be alright. You’re the most stubborn dwarf I know, you can’t be dying! You can’t!” Nori told him, getting more and more frantic as well as loud. 

“Ssshh, shhh. Nori, easy, it’s alright. Breathe, sshh sshh.” Thorin tried to sooth, his hands petting Nori’s face, hair, and shoulders. Nori just kept frantically shaking his head, like that will somehow stop the inevitable. 

“This can’t be happening. This isn’t happening. Tell me this isn’t happening!” Nori demanded, frantically searching Thorin like he was inflicted with a visible wound that Nori could fix. Thorin eventually pulled Nori close to him, turning so Nori’s back was to Thorin’s front and cradling him that way as Nori breaks down crying. The torrent sobs he lets out while clinging to Thorin’s arms like they are the only anchor he has to the world, affects everyone. Thorin cries a little with Nori, hurt that Nori is crying at all, while everyone else's hearts ache for the couple. 

“Sshh shh, my love. It’s alright, everything’s alright.” Thoin chanted in Nori’s ear, trying to calm him down. All it did was make Nori tighten his grip on Thorin and cry harder. He didn’t realise he was sobbing so hard, his mind on the doom that sat heavily on him of a possible world without Thorin. He barely notices he even is crying at his brain circles and endless ‘this can’t be happening’ and ‘NO!!’. He doesn’t notice as his body is overtaken from exhaustion that the crying induced. He’s thoughts are still crying out in denial as he falls into blissful blank thoughts of sleep.

\--Thorin’s POV--  
Thorin continued to chant, his voice only petered off when he noticed Nori ended up crying himself into an exhausted sleep. He was surprised to notice everyone still watching them when he looked around again as he had very much forgotten they were there while Nori broke down. 

“You have to tell him, lad.” Balin told Thorin quietly after there was a stretch of silence. Thorin swallowed thickly.

“I know. But it can wait until tomorrow.” He replied ruffly and shifted his grip on Nori so he could pick him up into his arm while he stood.

“Uncle, maybe you shouldn’t-” Kili started to say, worried about the strain this move would put on his injured and sick uncle. Thorin completely ignored Kili and everyone else who looked like they were about to protest the move and stood up anyways with Nori securely in his arms. His legs almost gave out when his ribs screamed in pain, but Dori and Dwalin were there to steady him before he stumbled. Neither looked particularly happy that he was doing that, but neither said a word either as they knew he couldn’t let go of Nori right now. Both of them hovered next to him as he slowly climbed up the stairs and into the house. They only left him at the door into the sleeping quarters, but didn’t completely leave until they saw the both of them had settled down on one of the sleep mats. 

Nori clung to Thorin with a death grip that forced Thorin to continue holding the dwarf. Not that he minded. It was a bit difficult to move them into a comfortable position opposed to an awkward one. It led to Thorin flat on his back with Nori tucked tightly into his side, his head resting on Thorin’s shoulder and his hands gripping Thorin’s tunic so hard, his knuckles were white. 

Thorin tried to sleep, he was exhausted physically and emotionally, but his mind would not shut down long enough for him to do so. He kept replaying times when the two of them were in a similar position and how happy he was during those times. Mostly, his mind was still reeling from the revelations of the night. Nori still caring about him hit him harder than he was expecting. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Nori cared or loved him, it was just that it had been a long time and Nori wasn’t very open with his affections as most think that he would be. He shows it in his own way, but he mostly kept away from Thorin for about 35 years. When you are avoided for that long, you eventually take the hint that you aren’t wanted and leave the person alone. Nori’s outbursts tonight, though, showed something completely different and Thorin wasn’t really sure what to make of them. 

He wasn’t even able to try to attempt to wrap his mind around having a son. A real, live son who was still a child and had fought Orcs and wargs and trolls. His stomach rolled at the very thought and he quickly cut off that train of thought. He could currently get up to get sick like Nori had, so he decided to stop thinking about Frerin all together. Or tried to at least. His mind continued to whirl with thoughts long into the night. He heard everyone come in and the snores of everyone before he himself finally drifted off. 

\--Frerin/Bilbo’s POV--  
When Frerin woke up, he noticed that it was still fairly early in the morning as several people were still sleeping, though others were clearly up and about now. While he wanted to lounge in bed for a while longer, his stomach growled at him in hunger, making him pull himself out of bed. He froze when he noticed his parents were cuddled together in a corner of the room, very much still asleep. He was so surprised by it he stared for a while before he slapped himself out of it and exited the room before he accidentally woke them up. He wondered what had happened last night as something had to have happened for them to end up sleeping like that. The closest they willingly got to each other was in the Goblin tunnels when they were all on top of each other as far as Frerin knew. 

He paused right before the doorway to the kitchen in surprise at himself. He didn’t realise he had been referring to himself as his dwarven name and wondered at that. He stood there thinking about it for a while and came to the conclusion that he was ready to shed his hobbit persona and wanted to fully embrace his actual personality. Bilbo was the loud, fussy hobbit persona that he had built since he realised he wasn’t a hobbit in his early teens. He felt some loss at realising that the hobbit name was too much attached to a fake persona for him to feel comfortable being called that when he wasn’t in that persona. He wanted to be Frarin now. 

His entire posture relaxed at that decision as he continued through the doorway into the dining room/kitchen area where several of the other dwarfs were, Ori and Dori among them. He felt extra shy when he realised that they were his uncles and feared that he would slip and call them that before he found out if that was alright. To blend in more, Frerin had been using wooden slippers that mimicked the look of Hobbit feet. He was careful never to take them off during the quest so far, but as he had outgrown them with the rest of his clothes, he left them near his sleep mat and walked into the kitchen barefoot. He had long perfected walking as softly as a hobbit and forgot how quiet he really was when he was barefoot. So when he quietly came over to the table and crawled up to sit at the end next to Dwalin, he ended up accidentally scaring the hardened warrior half to death. 

Dwalin’s yell of shocked surprise surprised Frerin back, making him jump a foot into the air and fall off the bench. Dwaling had stood in his surprise as an automatic reaction to a surprise which was usually a threat. So Frerin looked up from the floor in fright at the already usually frightening warrior who seemed so much bigger from the ground. They stared at each other in shock for a moment before Dwalin made an aborted move to help Frerin back up. Frerin only saw a big hand coming towards him and he quickly scurred backwards and away from the hand. When his back hit a wall, Frerin quickly got to his feet and flattened himself against the wall, worried that he had bothered the older dwarf enough to warrant a punishment. He remembered the older hobbits punishing him for bothering them when he was a very young faunt and they were still bigger than him. He was black and blue more often than naught until he learned how to be very quiet and how to blend into the background. His hobbit parents were never like that, but they also never did anything to stop it, so he figured it was commonplace. With all of the uncertainty that his current position was still surrounded by, Frerin didn’t really want to deal with a punishment and while running always made it worse, he still bolted. He stuttered an apology and bolted out the door, running as fast as he could until he was near the watering whole that was used for bathing. There were several bushes and trees there, so he scaled a tree with practiced ease that he had forgotten he had. The hardest part was finding a branch low enough to hall himself up, but once he was up it was easy from there. Once he was satisfied with how high and covered he was, he curled up into a ball with his back against the trunk, crying softly. 

Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to drop Bilbo all together. 

\--Nori’s POV--  
Nori woke up all at once, his pounding head reminding him of his sobbing the night before which proceeded to remind him exactly why he was crying. His fingers ached from his tight grip that he has had on Thorin all night, but he forced himself to tighten the grip more anyways as his fear of losing Thorin consumed him once more. He unconsciously shifted closer to the man and realised a moment that he had accidentally woken the dwarf as he noticed that his arms encircled him more firmly and his breathing was more like how it is when he was awake. Thorin absently strokes Nori’s disheveled hair as they continue to lay like that in silence. 

“If you knew you were sick, why would you risk your life on a quest like this? You should be resting.” Nori asked then admonished, though it was weak and they both knew it. Thorin hugged Nori tighter.

“This isn’t a sickness that will get better, Nori. Resting won’t help it.” He confessed quietly making Nori look up sharply at that. He propped himself up a little so he could properly look at Thorin.

“What does that mean? How long have you had this?” Nori asked, his voice shaking with how scared he was of the answer. Thorin gently cupped his face, stroking his cheekbone as he stared lovingly into Nori’s face, though there was a sad tint to his gaze that put Nori on edge.

“You and I have never done anything by halves. We throw our entire self into everything we do. When others tell us that we are good at something we push ourselves to be even better because good has never been good enough for us. Dwarves love fiercely, but you and I love with a passion and a ferocity that few have let alone understand. Neither of us really understand what it’s like to be accepted for who we are and not what we can give other people. And when we are accepted, it takes a very long time for us to accept that they actually do accept us for just that.” Thorin says thickly enough that Nori is simultaneously confused and dreading where this explanation is going. “And when we argue, we argue with all of ourselves. Including our souls.” He cautiously adds making a lead anvil settle in his stomach. Nori searches Thorin’s eyes and sees the painful truth that he didn’t want to see and that Thorin didn’t want Nori to know either. Nori doubted Thorin would be saying anything at all if he didn’t overhear him explain to his nephews last night.

“You’re dying of a rejected One bond.” Nori said out loud in a hollow tone. Thorin flinches and looks away with a sad and guilty look. Like he was the one at fault for all of this. Like Thorin was causing the pain and not the other way around. Like Thorin dying was a bearden he didn’t want to have to force Nori to bare because things were going to somehow be alright for Nori when Thorin was dead. Something clicked in his brain and his breath caught in his chest. That was it. Thorin didn’t think Nori would be affected by his death. Thorin really believed Nori didn’t love him and he would be alright with him dying. The stubborn dwarf probably would have continued like they have without a word until he dropped dead. 

Nori’s world started spinning and he sharply sat up, gasping for breath as he couldn’t seem to breath. He didn’t even know he was rejecting Thorin with his soul and he started to hyperventilate when he realised how much he and Thorin had argued over the last two decades that ended up with him pushing Thorin away. He remembered what it felt like when Thorin had vehemently rejected his offer of running away. The pain had been so sharp and blinding, he still doesn’t know how he got out of there without alerting Thorin just how painful that rejection was. Knowing Thorin, Nori had probably accidentally been rejecting him at every fight and every time he pulled away from him and the stubborn dwarf king has probably been painfully dying in silence at every one. 

Nori starts to think about his actions the night before when he notices he’s lightheaded and his vision is edged with blackness. His chest feels tighter than he remembers ever feeling and he’s releasing that not only is he hyperventilating, he can’t get himself to calm down. His slightly blurry vision shakes a little which makes him dimly aware that someone is shaking him. He forces himself to focus on the blurry person in front of him which automatically makes him slowly focus on what is going on around him.

“N…..i…..ri….No….ori…..Nori, Nori!” He recognised Thorin’s frantic voice and realized that he was the one who was shaking him a little, frantically trying to get him to come out of whatever he was in. 

“Thor’n?” He slurred, mumbling as he registered that his body was still struggling to breath and that it was exhausted from it’s troubles. 

“Yes, I’m here. You need to breathe, my love. Breath with me, alright? Breath in, and breath out. In, out.” Thorin directed, taking exaggerated breaths as he did so. Nori forced himself to do as he was told and automatically breathed like Thorin. They did that until Nori felt like he could breathe normally, which got a sigh of relief from Thorin and Oin, which surprised Nori when he realised the older dwarf was there. His body decided that it was too tired to stay up on it’s own a moment later and he collapsed back into Thorin’s arms. “Nori, are you with me?” Thorin asked, panic creeping back into his voice. 

“I’m here.” Nori promised, tiredly patting Thorin’s chest as he did. He felt Thorin sigh in relief again and hug him tighter to his chest. They didn’t stay like that for long, though, as a thought hit Nori and he jolted back into a sitting position so he could properly look Thorin in the eye with a determined look on his face.

“Oh no, I know that look.” Thorin said, already shaking his head, but Nori cut him off before he could continue speaking.

“We should get married.” Nori said with such strong ferocity that Thorin blinked at him in shock for a second before his face fell a little.

“Nori, you’re reacting. You don’t actually want to get married.” he gently told the thief.

“Your damn right I'm reacting! The love of my life, my One, just told me he’s dying from a rejected One bond and you think I’m not going to react to that!” Nori yelled at him, his upset turning into indignation at this point.

“This is exactly why I wasn’t going to tell you because I knew you would try to do something without thinking things through first. You’re panicking and I understand the panic, but this isn't something you need to fix.” Thorin tried to tell him sternly. 

“Like hell it’s not!” Nori shouted back, gesturing wildly with his hands as well.

“And how exactly is marriage going to fix this, Nori? Huh? You don’t want to marry a king because you can’t blend into the background when you are the King’s consort and I can’t abdicate the throne because there isn’t anyone to abdicate to right now. Even if Fili wanted to, he’s still too young and Kili, while also too young, has said on more then one occasion that he would rather go into battle naked and no weapon then be King. I’m not even going to bring up Frerin because he is still a child. A very, very, young child at that.” 

“Then I’ll stop being a thief!” Nori yelled back, interrupting him. Thorin was shocked into silence for a moment, then his face got stormy and his tone went low while his voice went loud.

“You are not giving up your craft to marry me! I will reject and banish you if you ever try!” Thorin rored back at Nori, pissed off that Nori would try to do something so dumb.

“So what!? You expect me to just watch you die!” Nori roared right back, his indignation turning into anger now.

“I’ve been dying for the last 40 years, Nori! With how you have been dodging me the last 20 years, I honestly thought the next ten would be a breeze for you!” Thorin shouted back, confusion and residual anger now swirling in his eyes and plastered on his face.

“I’ve been dodging you for the last 20 years because every time I see you I want to climb you like a fucking tree and agree to marry you despite all the reasons why we shouldn’t! I’ve been dodging you because you’re also a walking reminder of the baby I left with strangers to protect him from our enemies which makes me remember not only him but almost losing you over and over again! I’m in love with you, you miserable, stubborn, self-sacrificing, bastard and you are way more important to me than my craft!” Nori roared at him, tears starting to fall down his cheeks now. At some point, they had gotten to their feet in their angry shouting. After his declaration of love, it was so quiet in the room and house that you could hear a pin drop on the porch. Thorin stared at him with a slack jaw at a loss for words. The moment was interrupted with a hesitant throat clearing that Nori immediately knew was Dori.

“As much as I really don’t want to interrupt this, it’s reached a point where we have to inform you that Frerin is missing.” Dori calmly and slowly informed them.

“What!?” Thorin and Nori shout at the same time, Nori whipping his head around to look at Dori, inevitably also looking at the rest of the room to find most of them in the room or in the doorway to watch them fight. Considering that both of them have been known to start throwing punches and knives at wherever upsets them this much, Nori’s not even annoyed with them as they are only trying to protect the two from each other. They have no idea that neither would ever do that to the other.

“He came into the dining room an hour or so ago, but he was so quiet that he startled Dwalin who startled him in return. He fell to the floor, and when Dwalin tried to help him up, he scurred away from him like he thought he was going to be hit. When he hit the wall, he stood up, apologised, and ran out the front door. We’ve been looking for the last hour, but we can’t find him.” Ori explained quickly from where he stood next to Dori.

“We would have told you sooner, but you two needed to talk and we thought we could find him.” Dori told them firmly, clearly letting the parents know that they were informed the second they realised they didn’t have everything under control. Nori had gone pale at being told he ran outside and they couldn’t find him.

“Oh Mahal, what if he left Beorn’s lands?” Nori said faintly. Thorin quickly grasped Nori’s hands and turned Nori slightly so Nori was looking at him.

“Hey, he knows how dangerous it is outside Beorn’s gardens. He wouldn’t have gone past them. He’s smarter than that.” Thorin assured him, tilting his chin up just a little more so they were staring at each other’s eyes. “Like his Amad.” He told Nori softly. Nori let out a shuddering breath, but nodded his head in agreement, letting his worlds comfort him. Then he looked back to Thorin with a hard, determined look.

“We are not finished with this conversation.” Nori told him stiffly, indicating the conversation they were having before they were interrupted. He turned to leave and got two steps before he realised that Thoring still had his hand in his grasp.

“Nori.” Thorin called softly to him, tugging on his hand to reel him back in. Nori ended up stumbling into Thorin, not expecting the tug and was about to complain when lips covered his own. Thorin kissed Nori with a determined passion that sparked not only desire but fireworks between them. Nori gasped, very surprised, and barely kept up as Thorin thoroughly plundered Nori’s mouth. In retrospect, the kiss didn’t last for very long, but when they pulled apart, they both were breathing heavily. Thorin didn’t say anything to Nori, just gave him a look that Nori was frankly too dased to read before gently letting go of Nori and walking away. Nori’s brain was liquid after that kiss and ended up blinking dazedly after Thorin. He heard the front door close as he tried to get his brain to start working once more. He registered the sound and realised that Thorin was already outside while Nori was still standing there like a buffoon. Nori scowled and marched out of the room, thought the house and out the door. The second he saw Thorin’s back, he shouted.

“Thorin Oakensheild! The second we find Frerin, you are a dead man!” He stalked closer to the man who turned to him at the shout with a brought smile on his face.

“Yes my love.” He said cheerfully back, making Nori scowl harder and Thorin’s smile get wider. Throughout this entire exchange, neither realised that everyone except Frerin had witnessed the exchange or the argument. Almost everyone sighed in relief at that. It was going to be a long road, but they knew they would be alright. Now that Nori knew, the Company knew there was no way Thorin would be dying anytime soon. 

\--Frerin’s POV--  
Frerin didn't know how long he was in the tree for, but he knew it had been a while. He was really hungry now and while he had stopped crying, he was still scared of climbing down. He knew the dwarves liked Bilbo, but none of them knew Frerin and he was scared they wouldn’t like him. It felt different when it came to them liking him and not his alter-ego. He liked these dwarves and he was related to several of them. They were family to him at this point and he wanted his family to like him for him. He had been spending so much of this quest in an attempt to be accepted by them that he was terrified his hard work was for nothing now that he wasn’t Bilbo. 

He heard them calling his name, his actual name, but he was still too scared to climb down like he knew he should. He sighed unhappily from where he sat, angry at himself for being a coward for not having the guts to face them when he heard his name called once more right under the tree he was in. Frerin looked down to see both of his parents looking right at him.

“Frerin? What in Mahal’s name are you doing in that tree?” Thorin asked, not sounding angry, just confused and incredulous. Nori smacked his arm.

“Thorin, language!” Nori scolded at Thorin, who looked at Nori with a frown. 

“He’s been traveling with us for months, Nori. I think the mud has already extinguished that fire.” Thorin tells him, which just makes Nori huff. 

“He’s 31, Thorin. Just because he’s heard us cuss doesn’t mean he needs to keep hearing us do so.” 

“Yes my love.” He said with a soft smile and after a moment, they both look back at Frerin. Frerin watched the entire exchange with a burning curiosity on what happened between them as something clearly did happen for them to be acting like this. 

“Sweety, I’m going to come up, alright?” Nori called up to him. Thorin was about to say something, but Nori continued not even looking at Thorin though he clearly knew he was going to say something. “Your Adad has to stay on the ground because of his ribs or else we both would be coming up there.” Thorin closed his mouth with a click and gave a frustrated huff, but didn’t contradict Nori. He just crossed his arms and continued to look up in a gesture that made Frerin think he was getting comfortable in that position. 

Frerin didn’t give any indication that it was alright for them to come up, but he didn’t move when Nori started to climb the tree, he just rested his chin on his knees once more. When Nori started to get really close to his branch, Frerin looked down at his knees instead of anywhere else. He heard his Amad settle on a branch next to his and tensed at the scolding he was expecting. When there wasn’t anything for a long time, Frerin looked up and over to his Amad, who was just quietly watching him. Nori gave him a small smile when he noticed him looking at him which made Frerin duck his head again out of shyness. He’s not really sure where it’s coming from, but thinks it’s from nerves. 

“You know, Dwalin didn’t mean to scare you earlier. You must have been really quiet to have made him so jumpy. He’s gotten too used to me sneaking up on him, he hasn’t jumped like that for me in years. I wish I was there to see it.” Nori told Frerin with a cheeky smile. 

“Why would you try to scare him?” Frerin asked quietly, curious.

“Well, when we first met, Dwalin was the captain of the guard and I was a thief. Sneaking up on Dwalin was fun as it was a way of saying I was better than the guards. He got better though and it turned into a way to keep both of us sharp. It’s how we started our grudging friendship, though most of the time we’re still antagonistic to each other. You haven’t seen us very friendly to each other because I’ve been pissed at his block headedness.” 

“Why is he being a blockhead?” Frerin asked in the same tone.

“He and your uncle Ori realised they were each other’s soulmate about a decade ago and Dwalin is being a blockhead because he seems to think Ori can do better than him.” Nori confessed, sighing a little.

“And you don’t agree?” Nori snorted.

“Oh no, I agree with Dwalin that Ori can do much better, but that’s my protective older brother side showing. You can’t choose your soulmate. They are your other half and denying yourself is denying them as well. So I’ve been trying to get it through his thick skull to act on it for the last decade.” They laps into quiet for a moment.

“Will I ever know what it’s like to be a protective older brother?” Frerin finally asked, curious if he will ever get siblings. He’s seen others with their siblings and have craved that kind of bond for a long time now. His question surprised Nori so much he almost fell off his branch, but he caught himself before Frerin could really react.

“Nori?” Thorin called from below, checking to see if he was alright.

“I’m alright.” He called back, briefly looking down before he looked back at Frerin. “You want a sibling?” He asked, a little strangled. Frerin actually pierced up a little, smiling and nodding enthusiastically. Nori sighed and shook his head in disbelief. “You’re going to give your Amad a heart attack one of these days with all of your surprises.” He grumbled which made Frerin frown and sink back into himself.

“Sorry.” He said, looking back at his knees. He heard shuffling and looked up when he felt a hand lightly on his arm.

“Hey, you just surprised me is all. I thought you would want your Adad and I to yourself for a while.” Nori told him gently. Frerin frowned a little more at that.

“But that’s not practical. We’re still on a quest, so I still need to share you with the quest and with the company. But even when we get Erebor back, there will probably be a lot to do, so I’ll have to share you two with our duties to get it back into shape. And besides that, Adad’s a king. I’ll be sharing him with the people anyways. I’ve always wanted a sibling. It always looks like an amazing bond. I mean, take you and uncle Dori and Ori. Sure you guys drive each other up the wall, but no matter what you do, you guys still love and protect each other with everything you have. It’s like it’s in your blood to accept and protect each other even when you don’t accept each other and want to kill each other. I’ve always wondered what that would be like, is all.” Frerin tried to explain, unknowingly stunning Nori. 

“You are much too wise for your age.” Nori said seriously, sighing a little sadly. Frerin continued to frown while his eyebrows crinkled in confusion, making Nori explain. “It’s not a bad thing, Frerin. It just means you grew up much too fast and too much has happened to you in that time.” Frerin’s eyes widened when he realised Nori was about to start crying. “Oh my darling, I wish I had been there while you grew up. You are still so much a child and you shouldn’t have to be rational about sharing your parents with the world. Oh, you shouldn’t know anything of the harshness of the world yet.” He said wetly, sniffing yet again.

“Oh Amad, please don’t blame yourself. I know you gave me up to protect me. I don’t blame you or Adad for how I grew up or that I’m here. Please don’t cry Amad.” Frerin said hastily. Nori chuckled a little wryly and forced himself to calm down.

“Your right, I’m sorry. It’s just been a hectic few days and my emotions are all over the place.” Nori placeted the dwarfling, patting his arm in comfort and he dried his eyes and sniffed. Frerin relaxed a little once Nori calmed down. “Now, do you want to tell me what you are doing up here in this tree?” Nori asked once he got himself completely back under control. Frerin stiffened again and shuffled a little away from Nori. He was quiet for a long time before he spoke.

“What if they don’t like me?” he finally asked in a very small voice. Nori’s eyebrows drew together in confusion.

“What do you mean, sweety?” He asked, confused.

“I’m not Bilbo. Bilbo was loud and fussy and always trying to placate everyone else. He always tried to compromise or bend to others' will and he was all about plants and books and writing. He is always talking. I don’t talk unless someone tries to talk to me. I’m curious, but I’m not likely to ask about things from anyone unless I know I won’t bother them. I’ve learned what I know about plants out of necessity, not because I like them and while books are nice, I don’t really like sitting quietly in the corner all the time reading. I know how to write contracts, but that doesn’t mean I don't dread doing so. I’m naturally very quiet. I’m nothing like Bilbo and they like Bilbo. What if they don’t like me.” He explained to Nori. He looked up to see Nori smiling softly at him.

“If you let them get to know you, I think they will love you just as much as they loved Bilbo.” Nori assured him. Hope inadvertently filled Frerin and he smiled tentatively back. “Now, how about we climb down this tree? I think if we are up here for much longer, your Adad is going to come up here despite his busted ribs.” Frerin cracked a real smile at that comment, knowing that was true. Carefully, they climbed down the tree with Nori going first. Once the both of them were down on the ground, Thorin let go a sigh of relief that had Nori smacking his arm once more, though Frerin could tell it was a weak smack. “Your son is completely unbelievable.” Nori says to Thorin right off, confusing Frerin and making him give the two of them uneasy looks while Thorin only just raised an eyebrow at Nori.

“Oh?” He asked conversationally, though Frerin can tell he sees how uneasy Frerin is with that statement.

“He asked me when he’s getting a sibling. I almost fell out of the tree in surprise.” Nori informed Thorin who choked on his breath and coughed for several seconds, curling up from how much the coughing hurt with his busted ribs. Frerin’s entire body relaxed and he giggled at Thorin’s reaction, relieved this was what they were talking about and that Nori wasn’t actually upset at him for something.

“Ow.” Thorin commented once he had his breath back, though he still held his ribs in pain.

“Are you alright, Adad?” Frerin asked out of concern, stepping closer to Thorin as he did. He froze when he realised that he had just addressed the man as Adad, though he had yet to find out if that was alright or not. Thorin smiled warmly at him, though, and put an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer until he was snuggled into his side in a side hug.

“I’ll be alright, Frerin.” he told the dwarfling gently. Frerin smiled widely back and snuggled into the hug. His stomach growled loudly, interrupting the moment and making both of his parents laugh. “Come, let’s get some food into you.” Thorin said, gently pushing him into a walk. The three of them walked back to the house together, side by side.

They didn’t know what the rest of the quest or life had instored for them, but Frerin knew as long as they stayed together, they would be alright.


End file.
